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Is your child really ready to take over the farm?

2nd November 2015

Jamie McInnes Jamie McInnes

Please note: the views expressed in this article are that of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of SellMyLivestock.

Leaving the shed unlocked. The parties that have been had when you were away. Reversing the tractor into Aunty Doris’ car. It’s taken Dan from Sell My Livestock and Andrew from Graindex years to recover from those sins that felt like they’d put their entire future in jeopardy.

But in the spirit of ‘come-on-we’ve-all-done-it’ we thought you might like to take this short quiz to discover if your favourite child is really ­ready to take over the farm.

You’re not getting any younger, you certainly don’t have as much energy as you used to have. And they’ve been on at you for years to let them take over the farm. But are they really ready? Can you really go and play more golf in the Algarve without worrying that they’ll throw away all you have worked for all these years? Take this simple test to find out…

 

1. It’s four in the morning. You’re woken by a series of loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Is this because:

a. He’s just come back after a lock-in at the pub and is probably going to spend what remains of the night comatose on the kitchen floor

b. He’s up early to get out and finish off the drilling while there’s a break in the weather

 

2. You catch him half way up a ladder at the back of the grain store, installing a wifi range extender. Is this because:

a. He wants to be able to update his Facebook status when he’s ‘monitoring’ the dryers

b. He’s worked out that he can transfer grain temperatures direct to an app on his phone while he’s out combining the last of the barley

 

3. While you’ll never truly get over the fact that he turned down a place at Harper Adams to do photography at the local Polytechnic – which was followed by stints as an estate agent, a print salesman and a finally pub manager. He moved home five years ago and has been pretty reliable ever since. Is this because:

a. He’s clocked that you are running out of steam and he’s planning to turn the whole place in to a theme park with holiday flats and a Harvester pub where the cattle shed is, the minute your back is turned?

b. He really has settled down, that new girl he’s with does seem to be good for him and the fact that they’ve just bought a Labrador together, well it’s only a matter of time….

 

4. It’s been a terrible year. Prices are through the floor, the business is at the absolute top end of its overdraft facility, the combine is on its last legs and three of the tenants from the cottages have just handed in their notice. Does he:

a. Shrug his shoulders and say you should just try and get more money out of the bloody bank

b. Offer you five grand from his own savings and suggest you sit down together and work on a long term strategy for returning the farm to profitability over a three year time scale while exploring all options for revenue from other sources.

 

5. You happen to mention Hagberg in idle conversation over lunch. Does he:

a. Rush down the local thinking there’s a new German guest beer on tap

b. Light up and tell you proudly that all the wheat samples have just come back at milling spec.

 

Scoring

Mostly A’s

Don‘t even think about retiring. You won’t even get a long weekend on the Isle of Wight at this rate.

Mixture of A’s & B’s

You can probably book two weeks in the Algarve, but for God’s sakes keep your phone with you.

Mostly B’s

Well what are you waiting for? Pack those golf clubs now. You can call in at the solicitors on the way to the airport.

Further reading:

Thinking about marrying a farmer?

10 things every Shepherd experiences at lambing time

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