If everything goes right, you may be allowed to have an afternoon off so here’s the Christmas wishes of every farmer.
1. It’s not Christmas without free stuff, so you want to make the most of it. Free calendars and pens are a given, but play your cards right and you bag yourself a free hat or flask. Make the most of the winter fatstock shows by ‘networking’ around the free mince pies and mulled wine.
2. Ideally on Christmas Eve but definitely on Christmas day, every animal needs to stay where you put it.. That means no strays, no open gates (thank you in advance, dog walkers…)
3. And speaking of livestock, we want no nonsense please girls, it really isn’t the day to get your head stuck in the fence or anywhere else for that matter!
4. It always comes back to the weather doesn’t it, but seriously one dry day of winter isn’t too much to ask is it?
5. That for once you’ve organised enough feed until the festive period returns to normal. Ditto, machinery!
6. So you’re inside, jobs are done and now for presents. It’s a struggle between wanting a drone, or some pedigree gimmers but you’ll make do with either.
7. Everyone complains about getting socks for Christmas but really you don’t mind them, seeing as though you spend your life in wellies. Speaking of wellies, a new pair wouldn’t go amiss…
8. You live and breathe farming, but you want to sit down to your Christmas dinner and wine in peace. 00532, please don’t even think about calving tonight, but if you have to, I’ve asked Santa for a nice heifer.